Sorry that it's been so long.

Aside from the fact that I have just been ridiculously busy, I have also been having what I can only describe as "night terrors".
Night Terrors. You know, those things that little kids have where they wake up and run screaming into their parents bed. I've been forced to deal with the most pathetic question of my adult life. "What do you do when you ARE the parent?"

Well, let me tell you: you cry yourself back to sleep. Or just decide that you never want to sleep again. The later is what I've been attempting to accomplish. So far, it's not really working. I've been averaging about 5-6 hours a night, in 2-3 hour increments. Unfortunately, I also happen to turn into a crazyer than usual person. I find myself being completely off the walls lately. So much so that my coworkers had accused me of both having ADD and OCD. Even now, I am really wanting a nap.

The other night though, was the WORST! I woke up, feeling so terrified that a "ghost" (my bedside lamp that was dimly lit from the light in the other room) was trying to kill me. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream, I couldn't even cry. Less than 2 minutes later, I realized it was just a lamp, and I was being ridiculous. About 20 seconds after that, I could move again. About 20 minutes after that, my heart rate finally went down to a slow enough pace that I could actually drift back to sleep again (if I had actually wanted to, which I did not).

I looked it up on Web MD under Sleep Disorders.. I was actually looking for something to help explain my night terrors, but stumbled upon this first...

Sleep Paralysis

"Have you ever felt like you were awake but unable to move? You might have even felt afraid but could not call for help? This condition is called sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis may leave you feeling frightened, especially if you also see or hear things that aren't really there. Sleep paralysis may happen only once, or you may have it frequently -- even several times a night.
The good news: sleep paralysis is not considered a dangerous health problem. Read on to find out more about sleep paralysis, its possible causes, and its treatment."

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/sleep-paralysis ((If you want to know more.))

Someday, I WILL feel like I'm an actual "grown up" who can help herself feel better when she has a crazy nightmare.... Someday..